We have almost two feet of snow on the ground. It is a beautiful place, this world we live in. Amazing what a bunch af tiny soft snowflakes can do when they get together.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
My son, Gage, is still not feeling well. He had almost a week of no pain, got to school on Monday and then Tuesday started vomiting.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Any way, I was up all night sad and upset with myself for not being competent at anything.
I can barely get to the dishes, laundry and dinners, let alone make any decent art, I have no job, which means I have no life, I am a failure at being a parent, a wife a friend, blah, blah, blah…
I thought to myself - I am so sick of counting my blessings of which there are so many. I know I have no right to feel so depleted and inadequate. I am so privileged, I have so much (too much). I can tell myself all day these things, I can tell myself I am a talented artist, a giving teacher and patient wife, but in the end none of it really matters when I am feeling that I am not being of any use to any one
Ability and accomplishments aside – what is helping me is trying to understand that most likely many people are feeling the same way. Where did we get the idea that “ happiness” is even out there? Is it those moments of laughing and feeling fine that dissipate so quickly, leave us only wanting more - making us want to run away from difficulty and ignore problems?
I think I want too much. But I need to figure out how to make life work better and feel easier for all of us.
For my family, for my friends, for the world around me, I am going to try harder and I am going to do better.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
So Gage runs into my room, upset to say the least at the appearance of George Clooney’s hair style, and completely denies the possibility of George Clooney being that person on the TV.
I pointed at the TV and said, “Look… your favorite actor, from Ocean’s Eleven and all those Cohen Brother’s movies…” He says too me, “No, way, that's the guy from Full House (Gage was referring to John Stamos, actually one of my teenage crushes when he was on General Hospital and coincidentally another star of E.R.),
I said, “go Google it”, and he did and he then says to me, “apparently that was George Clooney, but I don’t want to believe it.”
Gage has been really sick for about four months - he can’t stop vomiting. We are still seeing various specialists and I know the wonderful doctors will eventfully figure out the issue, but it has not been fun for this amazing kid. And he has only been a good sport about it, handling it all better than his parents and, well I don’t know really, I just had such a fun time with the vintage George Clooney thing, and I am trying so hard to keep smiling and be optimistic, but when your little boy is throwing up every couple of hours, missing almost all of tenth grade so far and pretty uncomfortable, it is hard to keep smiling. And then Gage woke up Saturday morning in agony, we took him to the E.D. at Strong and waited 7 hours to be sent home, being told that the E.D. doesn't figure out what is wrong, they just treat and we should follow up with all the specialists who were already on his case. After that horrific day, Gage woke up this morning feeling fine. Which is fantastic, but keeps us on this roller coaster ride of doctor's visits, decisions and medications and wondering how long the feeling fine will last.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Luckily the Morning (Ground) Doves don't perch, they wait until the other birds knock seeds to the ground.
I have seen one Red Bellied Woodpecker, but he doesn't like to pose for the camera. And there are at least two beautiful little wrens that come by, same deal as the woodpecker though, they don't stick around for long.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Though the school allowed her to take the test on Friday, the state invalidated the results because regulations forbid makeup Regents exams without a valid excuse.
Regents officials say she can take the exam again in June, but she can't graduate and begin taking classes the Lincoln Technical Institute. Rosa's mother lost her job as an administrative assistant last April, and they were evicted last month after falling behind on rent.
Blog Spot won't allow me to write such a lengthy post ... but there is one more outrageous racist issue that needs to be posted with the others.
3. Last week, ex-Congressman and former presidential candidate Tom Tancredo, delivering the keynote address at the First National Tea Party Convention, suggested that President Barack Obama was elected partly because "we do not have a civics literacy test before people can vote... People who could not even spell the word 'vote' or say it in English put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House." Tancredo scoffs at the notion that these remarks were racially motivated. As evidence, he reveals that the person who helped spur the idea of a civics literacy test for voting was what he describes as "a black guy" driving a limo in Detroit who happened to be studying for his citizenship test. "Civics literacy isn't a fact of race," he emphasizes. "It's not a racial trait or characteristic, although the people who attack me all the time must consider it that. I haven't had so much nasty mail since I said something about bombing Mecca," he notes. "At first, I wondered why they were so damned defensive -- but it's probably because they voted for Obama and thought I was calling them stupid. And maybe they are stupid from my perspective -- but that doesn't mean they're necessarily stupid people."